“Tom & Jerry” – Horribly Good

“Tom & Jerry” was directed by Tim Story, the filmmaker responsible for such classics as “Fantastic Four,” “Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer,” and “Ride Along 2.” It stars Chloë Grace Moretz, Michael Peña, and other people who are happy they received a paycheck for being in “Tom & Jerry.” I saw this film about a week ago, and after seeing it, I realize that this can’t just be reviewed as a normal movie. This is definitely a “so bad, it’s good” movie, and I’m so happy to say that. This is one of those movies, like “The Smurfs,” in which 3-D animated characters are put into a live-action environment with live-action people. Why didn’t they just make an animated Tom and Jerry movie you ask? Well, it’s because the people involved in this film wanted to buy some beach houses.

Something that needs to be mentioned is the fact that Tom and Jerry are barely in this movie titled “Tom & Jerry.” They have about 3 minutes of cartoon violence between themselves, but besides that, they’re complete side characters. I’m going to do my best to explain the actual (complicated) plot:

• A woman named Kayla (Moretz) gets fired from her job, so she pretends to be another person in order to work at a prestigious hotel. Yes, that’s right. The protagonist of a kid’s movie commits identity theft!
• At the hotel, the manager thinks Kayla is great, but his underling (Michael Peña) is suspicious of her because she jokingly talked to a goldfish (I’m dead serious — this is what happens).
• Kayla also befriends a bartender at the hotel, and they become love interests or something.
• While all this is going on, a famous Instagram couple arrives to have their wedding at the hotel.
• This is a big deal, so the entire hotel staff has to make sure nothing interferes with the wedding preparations.
• The chef at the hotel, played by Ken Jeong, is stressed about making the cake for the wedding, so he is yelling at his employees in the kitchen.
• The couple is also having a rough time because the boyfriend wants a big wedding while the girlfriend wants a small wedding.
• To make matters worse, the girlfriend loses her engagement ring, so she and Kayla have to find it.
• And Tom & Jerry are there also.

Anyway, “Tom & Jerry” is such hot garbage for hundreds of reasons. For instance, throughout the film, some animated pigeons narrate what is happening through rap, which seems extremely inappropriate for a movie based on a classic cartoon that started in 1940. During the FIRST scene in the film, one of these birds defecates on the face of another bird, and it was brushed off as if it was some genius joke. It is funny, but only because it shows how abysmal the movie is, not because it is a quality joke.

“Tom & Jerry” feels like a movie made by people who never saw the cartoon, and the only thing they knew about the characters is that they try to attack each other. The film’s plot is ridiculously convoluted and boring, the human characters couldn’t be more bland and unoriginal, and worst of all, the animation is hilariously awful. There’s one scene in which a character picks up an animated dog (because literally every single animal is animated in this film), and it looks so incredibly ridiculous that I couldn’t help but laugh. It made the CGI in “Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over” look good.

I recommend this movie to anyone who is looking for a film to make fun of with friends or even wants to hate-watch something. However, if you’re a parent looking for a fun family film to show your child, this is not the movie for them.