Quick Review #1: “Godzilla vs. Kong”
“Godzilla vs. Kong” was fine. I liked seeing the CGI Godzilla fight the CGI Kong… the movie gave us exactly what it promised. It’s a popcorn blockbuster that gives you your money’s worth and entertains you throughout almost its entire runtime. I could write a full review explaining why the action was exciting and how the human characters lacked any traits, but it’s not necessary. Basically, “Godzilla vs. Kong” is good enough.
Grade: B
Quick Review #2: “Nobody”
This is an action film starring Bob Odenkirk of “Breaking Bad” fame (which is the best show of all time by the way), and it was written by Derek Kolstad, who wrote the fantastic “John Wick” movies. So naturally, I went into this movie with high expectations thinking I was going to have an enthralling theater experience. In fact, I actually drove 2 hours away to a drive-in movie theater to see this film. But did it live up to my expectations? Absolutely not.
The fact that this was even released as a 90-minute feature length movie amazes me, because the movie is essentially 50 minutes of a real movie and 40 minutes of a music video compilation. I’m serious — there are a ton of sequences in which loud, out-of-place music is blasting in the background. Besides the inappropriate runtime, the film has several other issues. For one thing, the action was underwhelming for the most part, which is a major problem since a STUNT coordinator directed this film. There was one fantastic action scene on a bus, but besides that, every action sequence was either boring or uninspired.
The movie’s biggest problem is how much of a cliche it is. It’s another by-the-numbers story about a retired action movie protagonist who comes back to defend his family and stop the criminals who wronged his family. That pretty much describes most 80’s action movies. Congratulations for your originality “Nobody”!
However, there are good things about the movie. Bob Odenkirk was likeable in the role and he sold all the action scenes that he was in, even if they were lackluster. As I mentioned before, that one action scene on the bus was an absolute masterpiece. I also loved Christopher Lloyd as the main character’s father. He was hilarious. That’s all. Don’t see this movie.
Grade: D+
Quick Review #3: “Thunder Force”
“Thunder Force” is a so-called “comedy” about two childhood friends getting superpowers and fighting supervillains called the Miscreants. This film left me with a lot of questions, like: Why was this made? Who wants to see a movie about Melissa McCarthy, the star of abominations like “Ghostbusters” (2016), “Life of the Party,” “Tammy” and “The Kitchen,” becoming a superhero? Why did Melissa McCarthy have to yell during every scene of the film? Why was most of the dialogue adlibbed and not scripted? Why was the CGI so bad? Why was the story so passionless and boring? How come the direction was so bland?
The answer to all these questions is that Melissa McCarthy wanted to make a quick buck using as little effort as possible.
Almost every joke or line of dialogue failed completely in this movie. “Thunder Force” is just another lazy cash grab made by a comedian who used to funny decades ago (e.g. Adam Sandler and David Spade) but isn’t now. There is one thing to like about this movie though, and that’s Jason Bateman as “The Crab,” a man with crab claws for hands. Just like Leslie Nielsen in “Airplane!” and the “Naked Gun” movies, Bateman delivered all of his lines completely straight, which made the character a lot funnier than he was originally written in the script.
Still, Jason Bateman couldn’t save this miserable film. While this wasn’t the worst movie I’ve seen in 2021 (that goes to “The Little Things”), it’s definitely in my Top 3 so far.
Grade: D
Previous “Quick Catch-ups” Post: https://reelopinion.com/2021/02/26/quick-catch-ups-barb-and-star-nomadland-the-little-things/
So glad you reviewed the movies… saves me from watching them! I’m always impressed by your insightful comments..